Thursday, July 28, 2011

How to Stop Toddler Tantrums


Toddler tantrums are no longer a new issue for parents and every parent has to bump into a number of these tantrums some time. And yet many parents are still having trouble dealing with toddler tantrums or certain occasions and constantly ask how to stop toddler tantrums. If you are one of these parents, a thorough understanding of these tantrums will help you deal with the situation better.

First of all, you need to understand why these tantrums occur. There is always a reason to assert that your child is still at a very delicate period in his life and that he is still in a very early process of his development. As indicated by many experts, these tantrums are a product of this immaturity. And so you are not really trying to jinx your child away from his natural reactions. What you should do is teach him how to suppress them if necessary.

The experts also emphasize that the best way to handle these types of reactions is not to indulge them because indulging them only tend to make things worse. These tantrums are a result of natural causes but they can be suppressed with a variety of positive and structured approaches. The first of these structured approaches is an anger management program. The second is a simple modeling of positive behaviors.

The first approach is intended to help your child control his emotions. You can set this program at home by setting limits and conditions for your child to follow. This is not an attempt to control your child or disrespect his independence. Rather, this is a way of letting him know that there are some things which you can’t tolerate simply because they are unhealthy. You are letting your child know along the process that his lack of self-control will lead to bad consequences and that he should avoid these consequences as possible. In a way, you are teaching your child the essentials meeting conditions and self-control.

Many parents are constantly asking how to stop toddler tantrums but only a few of them realize that their actions can be a major determining factor for the improvement of their status. Modeling positive behaviors is also just as important as the first approach because you are with your child almost every day and so you are the major model for your child. If you expose him to certain behaviors that are unhealthy, he will likely adopt those behaviors and cause the tantrums to become more frequent. Show him good values which will help him react to certain stressful situations in a positive way; such values as patience, understanding, and empathy.

For more information about how to handle temper tantrums, please refer to Dr. Randy L. Cale a Licensed Psychologist with years of experience in child parenting at http://terrificparenting.com/parenting-solutions/tantrum-fixer/child-tantrum.htm. Here's how to stop tantrums at http://how-to-stop-tantrums.com/

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Basics of Stopping Those Horrible Temper Tantrums


When parents talk about the temper tantrums of their children, almost all of them have one thing in mind; they want out of the pain and misery of the repeated tantrums. They want to do something about the situation. Many of these parents have done their research and manage to handle the situation fairly well, yet find tantrums still persist. In addition, there are still a huge number of parents who need to have a better understanding of these tantrums and how to deal with the situation better.

A lot has been written about temper tantrums and the right way to approach them. Yet, much of the commonly shared information on the Internet is misleading at best, and our right bad for children at it’s worst.

While many claim to be experts, it is better to seek out the guidance of a real parenting expert. Such experts will generally agree on most of the components of stopping those awful temper tantrums.

It is universally agreed that the first and foremost issue to examine is the role of parental modeling and anger management. While this takes our focus off the child for a moment, this understanding is critical.

If parents model reactive tendencies, and are getting upset in front of the children, it is logical that the child will learn from this.

And learn they do! This is the most powerful way that we teach. So if we want to take the first step at eliminating tantrums, we must first eliminate our own grown up tantrums.

Two additional factors can also contribute to making horrible tantrums persist. First, if we try to prevent tantrums, we end up in trouble. We start dancing around the possible upsets, and yound children quickly grow to understand this.

They see us dancing, and the power of the ‘dreaded’ tantrum. So once a child learns this, they then use their emotional meltdowns to manipulate and control the home. Thus, don’t try to avoid tantrums, when these are occurring in response to normal, everyday changes that children must adjust to.

Instead, allow the tantrum without dancing around it. If you need to remove the child, then do so. But don’t compromise your integrity about good choices, just to try to avoid a dreaded tantrum. In the long run, this will be better for everyone.

The last way that our parental choices worsen tantrums is by negotiating or arguing with the child who is tantruming. The more we do this, the more it strengthens the tantrum. Not just in small ways, but in very significant ways.

So, when a tantrum is seen coming because you son has to put away the Lego’s, then don’t hesitate on your rules. Don’t get soft or inconsistent.

Stick to your rules. Allow the tantrum without trying to avoid it, and ultimately let the child find their way through it. This approach will free you and your child, in the long term. In the short term, simply know that your child will get through it…just as millions of others have.



To learn more about how to deal with tantrums please refer to Dr. Randy Cale a Licensed Child Psychologist with years of experience in parent coaching at http://terrificparenting.com/parenting-solutions/tantrum-fixer/child-tantrum.htm. Dr. Cale’s programs can help you get through your child's temper tantrums!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Bring Those Temper Tantrums On!


People often ask me questions on my website about extreme temper tantrums. Parents ask me whether these tantrums point to potential problems such as mental illness and other serious trouble. There are a whole range of different temper tantrums, starting from the very small ones and ending with the more serious and violent ones.

But, my first advice to parents is always this:

Relax!

Relax because children who throw extreme, off the wall temper tantrums that go on and on are simply children who have not learned how to control their emotions.

In my work as a psychologist and parenting coach, I work with families who have had the most extreme, violent, almost endless temper tantrums. The good news is that the more extreme and out of control, the more rapidly their children tend to learn.

The reason for this is quite simple. When children throw lots of temper tantrums, it means that there are even more opportunities to put their behavior right. It’s just that mom or dad need the tools to be able to tell their child how to respond in a healthy fashion.

Now some of you may be reading this, and you doubt the words in front of you. You’ve been reading various strategies over the internet. You have tried all sorts of different approaches. But, your child is still temper tantruming. Your fears of a mental illness, or that there is something seriously wrong with your child are still circulating in your head.

I understand this, having witnessed hundreds of these off the wall, relentless temper tantrums that just make you want to pull your hair out.

But here is the secret: we have to tap into your child’s learning capacities in order to teach them to drop the tantrum. When you do so, you’ll begin to see how quickly your children can learn that a tantrum does not serve them in any way.

Think of your child as a learning machine. And think of yourself as a teaching machine.

You need to become a teacher of your children instead of a punisher of your children. Because punishing them simply doesn’t give them the valuable skills that they need in life. Only teaching them can do that.

So, remember what I told you at the very beginning. The most important thing is to RELAX. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that there is something seriously the matter with your child just because they are having these temper tantrums.

I’ve helped many moms and dads with my easy to understand and use, proven ‘tantrum fixer formula.’ It will put you right back in charge of your home.

They just need to be ‘untaught’ a few of the bad habits that sometimes you might have helped them fall into. With my, ‘tantrum fixer formula’ you’ll have all the techniques to do that!

Then you can look forward to watching your children learn - instead of watching them go off into meltdown!



Watch a Video of a Child Who Tantums!


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Temper Tantrum Triggers – “I Want To Do It My Way!”



Temper tantrums can be enough to send you right over the edge! Some moms and dads sometimes get to the stage where they feel as if they just cannot go on. Sometimes children’s temper tantrums go way off the scale of what you can even imagine. Take it from someone who has seen lots of temper tantrums in his life!

As a licensed psychologist and parenting expert, I help suffering moms and dads to put a brake on these temper tantrums. It is usually best to stop the tantrums early, before they get to the point of no return.

Now, there are all sorts of temper tantrums – from the tiny little outbursts to the overblown, full-on explosion-type temper tantrum. But my experience has shown me that there are just a small number of actual triggers which can bring on all of these different volumes of temper tantrums.


With these extreme tantrums, your patience will be tested beyond limit. Even worse, these sorts of temper tantrums can hurt your family and your child - if they are not dealt with in the correct manner.

As soon as you start to understand these temper tantrum triggers and get the parenting tools that you need, you will find that it gets easier to teach your child to get their emotions under control. Then, in time, the temper tantrums will begin to fade…and then disappear completely from your lives.


One of the biggest triggers of a temper tantrum in children is:


MOM, I WANT TO DO IT MY WAY!


I think that all of you moms and dads will all recognize this tantrum trigger!


The ‘I WANT TO DO IT MY WAY!’ Temper Tantrum Trigger takes all kinds of shapes and forms. For some kids it might mean wanting to walk by themselves rather than holding your hand. Others might want to run around the house naked rather than getting dressed. For others, this means stomping out of the doctor’s office and having a temper tantrum rather than going through with their appointment.


Now, of course there are situations where it is completely fine to allow your son or daughter to do things their own way. But, in a world where parents have been encouraged to give their children choices, many parents have mistakenly allowed their children too much control.


And this is the problem here. Sometimes, kids who tantrum have been given too many choices in life. And so now, when they don’t get their own way, they react by working themselves into a temper tantrum.

When your child learns that you give in to their wishes time after time, they start to believe that they are in charge of things. As time goes on, this will always create serious problems as soon as pre-school or elementary school begins or other expectations are put on your child.


I often remind parents that children simply cannot know what is best for them. If they did then mom and dad would serve no role as parents…other than offering them:


* A roof over their head
* A credit card as soon as they know how to use one
* Some supportive wishes along the lines of, “I’m sure you know what is best, sweetheart. Of course you don’t have to go to school today if you don’t want to! Just have a temper tantrum instead!”


Well, of course, this is just madness gone mad. You can’t let the temper tantrum put your child in charge.

So, here is the thing you need to understand with this temper tantrum trigger:


Constantly giving in to your child’s way of doing things is only storing up problems for the future. Sometimes you need to stand firm and make them do things your way.


Otherwise, you’ve got a whole lifetime of temper tantrums ahead of you!


To know more about temper tanrums visit How To Stop temper Tantrums now!